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Reflections on the Fourteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle B, July 5, 2009

by Richard Linneberger

There are some words you never want to hear. Even if you think you are prepared, most likely you are not. Late last year I heard the words: “You have prostate cancer.” I remember all too well wishing that it wasn’t true. What was I to do? How would I cope? How do you go about telling everyone or do you just keep it to yourself? What will it take to get through this? I’m sure that many who are reading this right now have struggled with even more frightening and painful situations – some have dealt with the death of a spouse, child or someone very close to them. Others have had to live with diseases and conditions far worse than I experienced. Or in this time of financial insecurity world-wide, others have been left with little hope for the future. My crisis did not last that long — after surgery in February, all is going well now. Between a successful surgery and friends to walk with me, I knew that God was present with me.

In today’s second reading St. Paul talks about a “thorn in the flesh” he experienced continuously. Some scripture scholars suggest Paul had a physical illness which caused him great pain. Paul was like us since he too “begged the Lord … that it might leave.” If we are hurting, we want the pain relieved. The pain may be physical or it might be heart-felt. Regardless, we want the pain to be gone.

Paul then gives us a powerful statement that speaks directly to me: “My grace is sufficient for you.” No matter what, the very presence of God, the very life of God, is there for us! Our faith reminds us that regardless of the situation, God is there for us – right next to us in the midst of our pain, our suffering, our anguish, our fear and hurts!

How do we experience God’s closeness to us right here in our midst? Is it possible to sense and know that God is present with us in our times of pain, our suffering, our anguish, our fear and hurts? We may not see God directly, face-to-face since that will only occur when we have passed from this life to the next.

However, God does “grace us” with God’s own presence in many ways. We have the sacraments especially the Eucharist — the very presence of the resurrected Lord in our midst. We have the Anointing of the Sick whereby we pray for God’s healing presence to be with us and those who care for us.

We have our family and friends who often are the very “hands and heart” of the Lord who help us through those times of need. They may not be able to take the pain away or even relieve it. However, even in their silent standing with us, we know we are cared for and not abandoned. God does work in our midst! God does provide in some way what we need even in those times of pain, suffering, anguish, fear and hurt.

One reason we continually read the Scriptures and have a three year cycle of readings is to remind us about what we believe. We need to hear this and remember what Paul wrote: “My grace is sufficient for you.” Take a few moments to remember and reflect on how God has been there for you even in those very difficult and seemingly pain-filled and scary times. Or remember how you reached out to someone when they needed your love and support in their time of need. Who has been the Lord’s “hands and heart” for you? And who have you been the very “hands and heart” for others?

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‘Some traits stay with us from childhood to adulthood’

by Mary Hood Hart

When our children are small, we parents quickly become aware of the more obvious traits they exhibit. Even though my four are now young adults, I can immediately connect certain traits with each child from their earliest years. Katie loved drama. Jimmy was reserved. Charlie loved action. Anna was sensitive.

Those traits still seem to fit my children, years after I first noticed them. Yet those traits haven’t defined or overly inhibited them. They have matured into adults who still exhibit the traits but who have not let them become obstacles to reaching their potential.

It’s fun to juxtapose the traits we remember from their childhoods to the traits they now exhibit as adults. For example, when he was a toddler, Jimmy would cry at parades because he couldn’t tolerate the noise of a marching band. Yet he now thrives in the Army. This same preschooler who once chose to ride on the stationary bench on a carousel instead of riding on the up-and-down horses is now flying helicopters. He grew out of those behaviors and fears, partly, I believe, because we didn’t force him to. We allowed him to work through them in his own time.

Sensitive Anna has become an accomplished athlete. While her face still reveals emotion on the volleyball court and softball field, she’s learned to discipline herself and channel her emotions for the good of the team. The little girl who once may have come crying to me about something being unfair (usually involving her siblings) has learned to tough it out through athletics.

Dramatic Katie now teaches high school English and uses her love of performing by engaging her students. Active Charlie, who seldom read a book for fun, has channeled some of his energy toward serious academic pursuits with the dream of becoming a lawyer.

What we parents have to guard against is becoming overly concerned about traits we see as problematic when our children are small. Those very traits that concern us may become, when our children reach maturity, their greatest assets.

We must take care to accept our children as they are while at the same time help them to rein in their more boisterous behaviors if they are outgoing, and encourage them to take risks if they are more reserved. This requires a delicate balancing act, and, because we parents are human, we never do it perfectly. What we must seek to avoid is labeling our children or teasing them. This may encourage them to believe they are incapable of change.

Our children, like all human beings, are capable of surprises. Some of those surprises will disappoint us. Most of them will amaze us. There comes a time when all parents must surrender their desire to turn their children into what they want their children to be, and allow their children to be the adults God intends them to be. The sooner parents recognize this distinction, the better for everyone.

Accepting our children as they are, while encouraging them to develop self-discipline and reach their God-given potential is every parent’s greatest, yet most rewarding, challenge.

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God alone suffices

by Barbara Hughes

Growing up as one of seven children, birthdays were not a big deal in our family. Very little celebration accompanied them since it seemed someone was always having a birthday. As an adult my birthdays continued to be celebrated with minimal fanfare and that suited me just fine. The “over the hill” birthday known to be a source of grief for some, came and went without so much as a “so what” on my part. Two years, later I gave birth to our fifth child and at the age of 50, I earned a Master’s Degree. To me age was only a number that held little significance…that is, until this birthday.

Maybe it’s because for the past four months, the mail brought almost daily reminders to look into this or that supplementary health care option or to register for Medicare benefits. There was no denying it. The magic age of 65, when people once retired, was all of a sudden here. Like it or not, I had to admit I was getting older.

Despite recently joking with a friend that I wondered who that old person was that kept looking back at me in the mirror, it was no laughing matter. Tasks that I could accomplish in a few hours, now take the better part of a day. Those so-called senior moments come with greater frequency and last longer. And even though I have no serious health issues, my energy level is not what it used to be, giving new meaning to the words: the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Even with life expectancies at an all time high, 65 definitely falls on the downward slope of life’s curve. Consequently, this birthday, unlike those of the past, has generated a fair amount of introspection about life. Still, I can honestly say, it’s not a bad thing. With age comes insight, and dare I say wisdom, that accompanies longevity and life experience.

In the end, it’s not about what we may or may not have accomplished during the course of our lives, but about the persons we have become along the way. This type of musing always reminds me of the words of St. Thomas Aquinas who counted all his works as straw compared to the love of God. It’s an understanding that could only be gained in retrospect. His insight came within the context of a late life transition and…life is a series of transitions. Each one takes us from one developmental stage to another.

Our five-year-old granddaughter idolizes her eight year old cousin and most ten year olds can’t wait to be teenagers. Early stages of the journey teem with expectations, some realistic, others not so much. Who knew being a teenager could be so conflicting?

As commencement exercises blend into job searches that may or may not materialize into the career path of our dreams, adjustments are made. Depending on circumstances — some within and some beyond our control — life happens in ways we could never anticipate. And because it does, it holds more surprises than certainties, has its share of challenges, frustrations, disappointments and heartaches…and yet, it is strangely fulfilling, not in spite of the struggles but often because of them.

When we look at life through the rear view mirror, we see a tapestry that eluded us when we were staring at too many unknowns. Only in retrospect can we recognize the Divine handprint in the tapestry of our lives. Each thread represents grace offered to us to weave through the fabric of our lives. Some threads we decide we don’t need, others break midway because we give into temptation, but when we take the thread and work with it, weaving it through events and relationships, a beautiful design begins to take shape.

The more we work with the grace that is present, the more inspiring the design becomes. With each thread accepted, our skill level grows and so does our trust in the Master Designer who guides our hands along the way. However, his touch is so gentle that unless we pay close attention to God who directs our hands, moving them ever so gently in the ways of love and humility, pride can lead us to believe that the tapestry which emerges is our doing.

Perhaps herein lies the beauty of getting older. As we look back on life, we are able to point to the flaws, times when we thought we could go it alone or when we pushed God’s hand away, thinking that our plan was better. They stand in sharp contrast to the beauty that emerged when we were humble enough to let God guide us according to his loving will. Perhaps it was this view that led Thomas Aquinas to consider everything as straw except the love of God and inspired Teresa of Avila to write on a bookmark. “Let nothing disturb you. All things are passing, God never changes…He who finds God finds nothing is lacking; God alone suffices.”

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