ARTICLES

‘The Power of Forgiveness’ asks hard questions

By Barbara Hughes
Special to The Catholic Virginian

“What’s harder — asking forgiveness from God or from each other?”

This was the question Rabbi Ben Romer asked the audience who had come to view the documentary “The Power of Forgiveness” by Martin Doblmeier.

The event, coordinated by Colleen Barranger from the Diocesan Office of Justice and Peace, was held at the Holocaust Museum of Virginia in Richmond February 10.

Rabbi Romer pointed out, “It’s much harder to ask forgiveness from one another. We believe it’s in the contract that God will forgive us.

“But if we believe that we are God-like, then we must seek ways to forgive and understand that forgiveness is empowering. It gives us the strength and soul that bring us together.”

Following Rabbi Romer’s remarks, Malik Khan from the Islamic Center in Richmond offered a prayer and added, “If God can forgive us, then we must forgive one another.

“It’s incumbent on all of us to seek forgiveness for the greater good of mankind and for a harmonious society. We hope and pray that we will be able to elevate humanity enough so we will have dignity, peace and harmony.”

Dr. Everett Worthington, Professor of Psychology at Virginia Commonwealth University, who has studied the effects of forgiveness on the human person, was present at the event.

He told the audience that his mother was brutally murdered on New Years Eve 1995 in her home. And that he views his work on forgiveness as a gift that enabled him to forgive his mother’s murderer.

In the film, Martin Doblmeier discusses the role of forgiveness in regard to horrific acts or prolonged situations of violence. Among those listed were the years of hatred in Northern Ireland, the bombing of a mosque in Lebanon, the murder of five Amish girls in Lancaster, PA, the Holocaust in Europe, the terrorist acts of 9/11 and two people who were able to forgive the murderer of family members.

Mr. Doblmeier suggested, “We know in our heart of hearts that we should be working on forgiveness, but I know from my own experience how hard it is.”

He explained that it takes a combination of being tough-minded and tender hearted.

“Naming and acknowledging the offense is the external response,” he said. “Forgiving is an internal response and it takes both.”

In the film a member of the Amish community said, “We have to get up every morning and decide to forgive. We have to work at it every day because forgiveness is woven into the fabric and culture of faith.”

Professor Worthington told the audience that his involvement with young people today has given him hope. He described this generation of students at the university as the most positive, hopeful, idealistic, and generous group of people he’s encountered since the 1960s.

He noted that they are committed to virtue, but on their terms.

His observations include students in two categories of virtue: those who are conscientious, dutiful and responsible, and those who exhibit what he called the warmth virtues, such as gratitude, love, compassion and forgiveness.

“We need both,” Dr. Worthington said. “Those who possess conscientious virtues need to develop warmth virtues and those in whom the warmth virtues dominate need to develop the conscientious virtues.”

In a question and answer exchange with the audience, the concept of justice was discussed during which the guest speakers explained that justice with love is forgiveness.

“It’s about redemption and not punishment,” explained Professor Worthington.

Mr. Doblmeier, whose background is in the field of religion, pointed out that often people are unable to forgive others because there is something in their past that has not been forgiven and so they cannot forgive themselves.

“Forgiveness involves owning my fallenness,” he said. “When I can accept my failures and forgive myself, I am better able to forgive others.”

The event, which was sponsored by the Diocese of Richmond in conjunction with 16 local churches and community organizations, drew approximately 450 people.

The film has been shown in Blacksburg to help bring healing to the Virginia Tech community and has been shown at the United Nations.

Plans are under way to bring the film to Hampton Roads. Two viewings, one on the Southside and one on the Peninsula, are being planned by Abraham’s Children Together (ACT) a Tri-faith initiative of Catholics, Muslims and Jews.

Following the film, representatives from each of the three faiths will talk about forgiveness from the perspective of their religion. Details will follow.

back to top