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Parish reaches out to autistic child

By Barbara Hughes
Special to The Catholic Virginian

Karen Jackson is on a mission.

As the mother of three children, one of whom is non-verbal due to autism, Karen understands why many parents with children who have intellectual disabilities are reluctant to bring them to church.

“People don’t understand how hard it is to come someplace with a child who acts out,” she said.

“They look at you and you feel as though you’re being judged because you can’t control your child.

“It’s easier to just stay home and for a while I did,” admitted the mother turned advocate. “It took me a long time to get to this place.”

Last year Ms. Jackson decided she wanted her daughter, Samantha, to participate in the religious education program and to make her First Communion.

When she approached Sister Regina, pastoral associate at Blessed Sacrament in Norfolk, about Samantha she finally received the answer she had been hoping for.

“Sister Regina told me, ‘I don’t know much about autism. I have no idea how we’ll proceed but it doesn’t matter. We’ll begin next Sunday and learn as we go,’” recalled Ms. Jackson.

Together, Sister Regina and Ms. Jackson worked out a schedule that allows Samantha to participate in the opening prayer with her classmates.

“If they are doing an activity that Samantha can do, we stay for that. Otherwise we go to the chapel where I work with her one on one,” she said.

Ms. Jackson spends about 20 minutes in the chapel going over the basics with Samantha. She takes her outdoors for a short break on the swings and then has her join the other children for snacks and the closing.

“It’s meant a lot for Samantha to be able to continue with the same group of children,” said Ms. Jackson.

She explained that the fourth graders weren’t quite sure how to respond to Samantha at first but finds they now seem at ease. Best of all, Samantha is part of the class.

As to when her daughter will be ready to make her First Communion, Ms. Jackson said, “I’ll know when she’s ready. I’m not sure how much she understands but with the power of the Holy Spirit, I believe she’ll let me know.”

She explained that Father Joe Metzger, pastor at Blessed Sacrament, is very flexible.

“A few weeks ago, Samantha was able to walk up to him in the Communion line to receive a blessing,” Ms. Jackson said. “It was a bit scary because we weren’t sure what Samantha would do but she did it.

“And what a joy that was for our whole family. People just don’t realize what a big step that was.”

Karen Jackson has been educating the parish about the importance of including children with disabilities and in the process they have come to know Samantha.

In February of 2007, she addressed the parish at the weekend liturgies and was pleasantly surprised by the response.

Since then some of the youth have volunteered as care-givers during a monthly prayer and support group for parents of children with disabilities. Parishioner Dr. Jim Dixon oversees the teens while they are with the children.

At a recent parish pastoral council meeting, Ms. Jackson pointed out, “It’s more than a nice idea to include people with disabilities in your congregation. People of faith are called to view people with disabilities as integral to the well-being of the community.”

Referencing the book “Including People with Disabilities in Faith Communities,” she quoted the author, Erik W. Carter who wrote “When an entire segment of the community is absent, that community is handicapped.”

With more than 700 families registered at the parish, Ms. Jackson finds it difficult to believe that their family is the only one with a child who has a disability.

“So my question is: Where are they?” she asked.

According to Ms. Jackson, national statistics of disabled persons don’t support the numbers one finds in the churches and she is working to change that, at least among churches on a local level.

The parents’ support group meets at Blessed Sacrament on the second Thursday of the month from 7:00–8:30.

“There are lots of groups where you can get information,” said Ms. Jackson. “But this one is based on faith and that’s different.

“We begin with prayer and share ideas and concerns. My hope is to raise awareness in our home churches about inclusion and acceptance.”

LaVern Labott from Basilica of St. Mary of the Immaculate Conception in Norfolk was a participant at the January parents meeting. Ms. Labott has cerebral palsy and her 12-year-old son Jordon has Asperger Disorder. She shared with the group that parishioners built a ramp to facilitate her wheelchair and made her son feel welcome.

“Jordan opened his heart to the priest when he made his first confession,” revealed Ms. Labott.

“Sometimes our children surprise us and so we’re all learning,” she added. “Being around young people his own age makes Jordan try harder.”

Joan Blind from St. Mark’s in Virginia Beach, said that her daughter was diagnosed with Down’s Syndrome on the anniversary of Roe V. Wade 20 years ago.

She shared that her obstetrician was the president of the Right to Life chapter where they lived and that he helped her work through her feelings. Ms. Blind sees this as significant since 90 percent of infants diagnosed with Down’s Syndrome are aborted.

As the mother of an adult son who was diagnosed with multiple disabilities at birth, Nita Grignol, director of the Office of Disabilities in the Diocese of Richmond, understands first hand the challenges that parents face.

She explained that plans for an inclusion liturgy are being formulated and will take place June 15. Adults and children with disabilities will be invited to participate as ushers, gift bearers or in whatever way is possible.

“It’s a way to show the people in the pews and people with disabilities that everyone has gifts and that those gifts are valued,” Ms. Grignol said.

“The hope is that it will encourage those who are disabled and parents who have children with physical and intellectual disabilities to come forward and become part of their faith communities.”

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