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Clergy study effects of online pornography

By Jean Denton
Special to The Catholic Virginian

In a brief role play with a group of priests and deacons in Roanoke last week, Benedictine Father Roman Paur predicted a future conversation they might have: “You know, I went to a workshop on this and it can be very serious, very damaging — and there are a lot of people in this boat.”

He was talking about “cybersex” — online pornography — a growing, multi-billion dollar industry that draws people into an addiction that he contends “has the potential for greater destruction than all other addictions combined.”

Father Paur, a longtime faculty member of St. John University in Collegeville, MN, gave a workshop for diocesan clergy to make them aware of the pervasiveness of the cybersex phenomenon, its addictive qualities and to offer ways to respond, pastorally, “in terms of ourselves, our colleagues and the faithful we serve.”

The workshop, “Cybersex: The Wrong Side of the Internet,” was also offered in Newport News and Richmond as the first of a new, ongoing series of diocesan “Clergy Study Days.”

Father Timothy Keeney, pastor of St. Anne Church in Bristol, who heads a committee of the Priests Council that is organizing the series, explained that study days are a response to the U.S. Bishops’ recent initiative to provide more continuing formation for the clergy.

Father Keeney, after attending all three presentations, explained, “For many, the numbers—the breadth (of online pornography usage) — is new and we’re feeling overwhelmed. But this lets people know that this issue is a pastoral crisis and there are things we can do to offer help.”

Father Paur, a priest for more than 40 years, including more than 18 as a clinical psychologist and psychology professor, set the context for his discussion by noting that the sexual abuse scandal in the Catholic Church for the last 15 years “has forced us to discuss sexuality issues more, especially the negative aspects.”

He spoke briefly about a previous persistent culture of reluctance to report damaging behaviors, concern for image and minimizing exposure.

“It was a protective policy that has worked for hundreds of years,” Fr. Paur said, “but at the expense of the vulnerable faithful.”

He told participants, “We need to rely more on each other for accountability,” and recommended clergy take care of themselves, each other and those they serve through community and what he called “lateral accountability.”

In the current climate of church community, he suggested, “Everyone is equally accountable to everyone. This is new to us in our tradition, but we need to hold ourselves open to this, and it is fundamental.”

Father Paur gave an overview of the online pornography industry. He said it threatens human respect and, through obsession and addiction, can compromise one’s commitment to live the Gospel.

His statistics, taken from federal government reports as well as from news organizations and corporate investigations, show online pornography generating exponential growth in revenue: from $400 million in 1998 to more than $8 billion in 2005. Among the investors are high-profile corporations, communication networks and pharmaceutical companies.

“This is what is shocking,” he said. “Are you going to stop it? Obviously not. It’s driven by big business. Are the shareholders going to say anything? Of course not.”

On the other hand, he noted, the one area where there appears to be an active response is among corporations that are losing productivity at a high rate because employees are spending large amounts of time looking at pornography online on company time.

Fr. Paur explained that internet users lose track of the time they spend browsing from site to site. Cybersex is alluring, available and preys on human vulnerability, he noted, so that even “normal people can get hooked” as what began as curiosity becomes intentional and increasingly obsessive.

He described warning signs of addiction to online pornography and explained how it encourages social isolation and can lead to inappropriate offline relations and sexual behavior, rage and depression.

“As with other addictions,” he emphasized, “it is not a matter of moral or spiritual weakness and it’s not about willpower.”

Noting that admonitions to use inner strength or threat of eternal punishment won’t help overcome addiction, he said cybersex must be treated as a behavioral issue. “It must be addressed as psychological, biological and sociological because that’s what it is,” he said, and added, “It’s important to be informed regarding community resources for referral.”

While lamenting that there are currently few, if any, professional community resources available for support in treating cybersex addiction, Father Paur encouraged the clergy to “find people in your own communities that you can rely on for help. You don’t have to be expert on this, only respectful.”

“Admitting our vulnerability helps us respond with one another,” he said. “We must be committed to relational support and that’s true also within the presbytery.”

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